Damn it

Today I found out they put my dog to sleep. As I'm writing this I can't stop sobbing. I had deluded myself into thinking I, for some reason, wouldn't be around that she'd live way longer than even I would. I refused to acknowledge the fact that she'd die in my lifetime. I've had that dog since I was 4, she was the sweetest dog in the world. Everyone who'd first see her would be intimidated because she was a pit bull but as soon as they got close to her shed go up to them and just want them to pet her, she'd stop people from moving by leaning on their legs so they'd have to pet her. My parents had told me they were going to put her to sleep last week but they hadn't set a date and i didn't think they would go through with it since she was like their baby. It wouldn't have been so bad if only i had actually known! I would've gotten to say goodbye or see her one last time. Instead I came home after work, happy as can be with my chicken pot pie, and while i was watching TV my sister comes downstairs crying and tells me that Gena's gone, that they put her to sleep. I wish they would have at least told me. I knew she was hurting real bad and she couldn't even get up anymore, and it killed me but i was being selfish and i couldn't stand the thought of her not being there. I wish I could say shes in a better place but i don't know that. I'm really really glad shes out of pain though.